A matter of being present

Infinite possibilities.
Each thought a grain of dust in the wind.

All these theories, opinions, ideas and words are derived from the confrontation between the paradox of life and the human mind. When confronted with the concept of infinity and the realisation of Being, we gain access to a state of consciousness in which it appears that we can more easily connect the dots, or assemble the puzzle. But it also seems to be something where everything is possible and infinite, connecting the dots never ends, and we end up with a tangle of lines. I feel that there is always something that is not quite right, there is always a piece of the puzzle that does not fit. And that piece has to do with me, that piece is myself. Although I understand all these concepts I continue to feel unsatisfied. Why?

The Great Mystery

Black Sun

Whatever view of reality we hold on to, one necessary condition must be present: we must be alive, conscious, aware. It is the basis for everything we know, everything we have ever built, will achieve and experience.
Some people might live their whole lives running around, working, fighting, and end up dying without ever realising to its fullest potential the weirdness, the wondrousness, of just this simple fact: I'm here, alive, breathing, seeing, listening and feeling all this rainbow of sensations, thoughts and feelings in this body at this moment.

Godspace

The 21st card in the Thoth Tarot deck,
"The Universe"

This post comes as an answer to the proposition put forward by Chris in his blog post The Re-Enchantment Dialogues, Part 2: Suggestion Box.

Without wanting to sound pretentious, and admitting that I'm really not comfortable in sharing this for a number of reasons, I'll describe my first experience of re-enchantment here in the hope that it might benefit someone, or to give you a broader perspective of the variety and uncertainty of the process for each one.

For years I wrote a personal journal. During my daily life I just felt something was not right, and every time I felt this nausea, or something wanting to speak through me to be expressed to me, I just had to write it down, to put it outside of me, for me to look at, whatever it was: the way I view the world, why I thought the world was fucked, why I was feeling down and how it felt, philosophical musings, poetry, drawings, whatever came down the pipe I just had to put it down, it made me feel saner. I also started doing that with dreams, OBEs, and other strange phenomenons I was experiencing.