Intentions

If I pay attention and observe the whole process of writing a text for this blog from the beginning to end, I can see that behind my conscious and rational intentions, which are to share information, ideas, self-expression and so on, there are also other more subtle or unconscious intentions and expectations.

Honesty

There's so much stuff happening inside me both emotionally and intellectually sometimes that it's difficult to make any sense of it. When I try to use this blog to alleviate some of that tension and express my inner weirdness it quickly becomes a maze of words, ideas, and I can easily loose track of what I was trying to express. This because my mind has this tendency to over-analyse everything even itself, reaching an exponential point of no-return where the conclusion is most of the times a climax of confusion. Add to this ego problems and other personal shortcomings and writing for this blog quickly becomes a struggle rather than what it was supposed be, a self-expression tool meant to provide some sense of enjoyment and relief.

No Mind, True Heart

I've been experimenting in the last couple of years with visiting places like monasteries where it was possible to meet people interested in spirituality and also have a feeling for the spiritual practices and life styles carried out in such places. I came to the conclusion that reality might be a bigger mess or an infinitely trickier puzzle than what I thought it was. Maybe the problem was I started out with just that: thought and no experience. Maybe we can't really put a label/description or "is" into this stuff, or in any other stuff, because the truth might simply be: Chaos.