“We have only this moment,
sparkling like a star in our hand...
and melting like a snowflake.”

The Beginning of a Dream

The Starchild
In this first post, I will make a brief summary of what I intend to accomplish with this blog, and touch briefly on the main theme I want to address. I want to try to create a channel for communication and interaction between me and the chaotic/synchronistic ocean of information and awareness that is the Internet and it’s users. I intend to explore concepts and ideas that have been present in my mind for a long time, and feelings of Love and understanding only recently discovered in my Being. I will sometimes write spontaneously without much planning, other times I will use my notes and also some ideas from authors and artists that influenced me, and others that I will discover along my path.
All this in order to share with you a Dream of mine, and to find individuals who, like me, are able to imagine and dream of a world where everyone can live without fear of speaking their minds, without fear of creating and loving. A world where the forces of greed and fear that control and influence our hearts and minds are erased and gone for good, and where the forces of Peace, Understanding and Love inspire us to dream and to create. A world where we can all live together like one big Family, rather than as enemies.

I will not use a vocabulary too complicated or too abstract ideas. My goal with everything I write is not to create the idea that there is something to find and conquer out there, away from our Being, or too complex concepts and theories that become sterile and empty. What I intend to demonstrate is that all there is to say, think or do is irrelevant. Words, symbols and thought that creates them, as well as time and memory alone, without the Heart, become empty, vague and Lifeless. My philosophy is simple: right thinking and right action are those that redirect us to our Being, to ourselves, to the ability to Love, to the Heart, the temple of the Soul. All our words, theories, images we create of ourselves, others and the world are irrelevant, but sometimes necessary, if used wisely. When wisdom is achieved, we find the key that will open the door to our Hears. Once we find the way into our hearts, we will meet inner Peace. A Liberation that will allow us to use our creative Consciousness or the Soul, true imagination, inspiration, and the capacity to dream. Dreaming not only while we sleep, but more importantly, to dream while awake. That is, to use our imagination, Love, Understanding and intelligence in a creative manner and make our Dream become a reality, first in ourselves, then with those we Love, and maybe one day on planet Earth. But first we have to face our inner Being, our suffering, our fear.

The only fear we feel, the one we project in the outside world, is the fear of our inner Being, of our suffering and sorrow of the Heart, traumas, memories, resulting from the self-betrayal of the soul as a child and throughout all our lives. A self-betrayal often imposed upon us by our blind families and society. It is a continuous betrayal, which occurs every time that we avoid expressing our deepest feelings of true Love and understanding for ourselves and for those around us, and when we are asked and forced to do and say what in the depth of our Being we do not want to.

This pain in the depths of our Being, can sometimes be so strong that it makes us give up and we just sink, overwhelmed with sorrow, and surrendered by the submission to the authority of others, and we feel the suffocating weight of time passing in our consciousness, making us feel small, insignificant, almost dead and void of any creative force, or the possibility of self-expression. But it's all a matter of perception. Our fears are the result, firstly of a wrong perception about ourselves, others and about life. Perceptions are justified and supported by ideas and concepts acquired from childhood to this day, inserted in our minds thanks to a poor education system, and by a society subjected to the male myth of power, which uses fear to control and impose it’s so called order in us. An unnecessary state of affairs, that impedes a true spiritual evolution and is responsible for all the suffering on this planet. It becomes necessary to unlearn everything.

One of the greatest treasures that any man or woman can aspire to have, is their physical, psychological and spiritual sovereignty. To be able to keep our entire Being (body, mind and soul), Free and pure, which since childhood struggled to escape subjection to the outside world, to give voice to the Soul, which is the real Voice. A Silent Voice, which is present in all of us in the depths of the unconscious. To hear that Voice, we first have to face an obstacle, our pain and fear.

The pain, when faced not with struggle, not with violence, not with fear, not with lies and evasive maneuvers in order to deceive ourselves and others, but with care, calm, silence, courage and Love, is capable of being understood and transformed. The pain tries to tell us something. We must not avoid pain, not reject it, not forget it with anti-depressants or entertainment. We'll have to relive our emotional traumas, fears, insecurities, memories, and forgive all our past errors committed against our Soul and against other Souls. After walking the desert of emptiness and suffering, the Truth will be revealed. It will be necessary to meet our ultimate fear, our demon, the cause of all suffering, the unknown, the dark abyss, Mr. Mystery. If we have courage to open our EYE and roar to the demon, like a Lion who has just broken out of it's chains, we see that we were the demon, that the whole time we were being confronted with our reflection. After reaching this insight, God will reveal itself to us. And we understand that God was always present in us, helping us out, sometimes in ways that seemed not so helpful, but rest assured, EVERYTHING happens for a reason, that is true Karma. We are all God literally. God or Nirvana, allows us to breathe every moment, to feel the breeze, the sun's heat, the sound of the ocean, the taste and touch of the lips of our loved one. Nirvana or Allah, is the atom, the cell, the grass, the stars. Allah or Atman is Life, creativity, intelligence, the infinite ocean of Love and consciousness, and we are but drops of that water. And when we realize at last who we REALLY ARE, we will see that there never was, there is not, and there will never be any reason to be afraid of nobody or anything, EVER, because everything and everybody IS you, there is no separation, everything is interconnected, we inter-are with each other and everything else. True happiness is finally revealed, the true Peace achieved. First individually, then, if we accept the challenge to share with others our Peace, it will also be achieved collectively.

In the vastness and emptiness of the universe, the only refuge we can find is in ourselves and in each other, from the smallest insect up to be more powerful and incomprehensible Being that may exist in other worlds. On this planet, and in all other planes of existence that exist above and below ours, the only Law is the gift of Love and Understanding. That is our role: to Love and understand, the rest are just details.

Life on the physical plane, is a short ride, during which, for us humans, we are supposed to learn to understand and Love our Soul and those of others, which in reality are just One. There are two fundamental ways of perceiving the world. We may see the world through the eyes of fear: close ourselves, become slaves to our opinions, to hate and ignore our Soul and mind, to avoid and hate others who are different, to buy weapons and thus living in a constant tension, anxiety and anguish, fear and hatred. Or living an illusion of consumerism and escape from an authentic responsibility and Peace, pursuing and fighting for the conquer of power and success, achieving in this manner only more illusion. The eyes of Love, however, understand and feel the Heart, and all living Beings, the planet and the Universe as One Consciousness. I'm trying to live through the eyes of Love.

I wish for the sake of us all, that more and more people do explore their unconscious, face their fears, and choose to see the world through the eyes of Love. Perhaps we can in this way survive this phase of destruction of the human race, and one day achieve redemption.

I intend to interact with people who can inspire me to discover new, creative and intelligent ideas, and to inspire others to travel the path of inner Peace, so that together we can walk and live the Dream of Peace and Freedom, and achieve our legacy: to Create. We are creative and divine Beings, whose aim is only to maintain harmony in the Universe, contributing to the Cosmic Song of Love that sustains Existence. We are Angels in evolution.

The Universe, inner and outer, is our origin and goal, and awaits our return.


tim009 said...


Unfortunately, I feel my outlook is still quite bleak regarding the subject of the human mind. It is a chaotic mass of negative and positive thought, with an underlying structure based on life events; development; biochemistry; structural changes of the brain itself.

I am one who believes in an external and very powerful influence on our thought process. One that is in no way conventional. An influence that is ignored or goes undiscovered by mainstream science and psychiatry. Whether this influence is of human creation (technological) or other (creator ?) I have not clue ... and would not expect to ever find an answer. It is a variable chaotic matrix / yet in ways structured around certain behavioral consistencies found (and profiled) by our society.

I believe a significant key is to be found in schizophrenics (and those suffering from other mental disorders), although this "influence" I have mentioned is IMO present in ALL individuals. How to go about studying this, I would not have the slightest idea. I believe in listening to schizophrenics; their "delusions" ... and go about putting in strict and significant effort archiving this material over an extended period of time.

With advances in society and technology, who knows ...

I do not want to "bring you down" Bruno. You seem to have found something that you need to hold onto. I can only deal with my problems by altering brain chemistry bro ... its a shitty deal, but works to a great extent.


Bruno Tarrana said...

Hi kaiserx30,

You see, I'm with you. I can see where you come from cause I've been there and still am. Now I just accepted it.

I also am very interested in schizophrenics. As a matter of fact I'm just moving to France in January, where I will be living with a friend who works at a mental institution for schizophrenics. We exchanged ideas concerning this issue and will be engaged in further discussion. I have lots of ideas and observations I want to make about this issue of mental disease that hopefully in the future I will mention in my blog or in some other form. Or I can really try to help out in same way I don't know. One thing I've found about schizophrenics is that if you really smile and touch someone who is such a state, they will smile back.

The reason I mentioned "God", "Soul" and so on in the post is that, I am still trying to find a language that can make people feel inspired and let go of the Fear. Because there really is no right words to explain all this. That's why religions, philosophies, occult societies, science etc, are all separated and fighting each other. It's not that only one of them is right and others are not. They are all right, and at the same time, all wrong. that is why there is separation everywhere in the world because of this one thing which is not communicable, but if it could be used wisely it could unite everybody and we could have peace.

I know that when I am speaking of God/Nirvana/Atman I really am speaking of The Machine and that our individuality is a mere illusion. But it really does not matter which words and concepts we use to express that which we feel is the Truth. It's all in how you look at it, it's all a matter of perspective. The more you try to figure this out with only your mind the more confusing or scary it gets, and when you think you found it it escapes you again.

The answer is in using your mind AND imagination/inspiration/creativity to understand it. Let go of your fear pain etc and the Machine or whatever you want to call it, will reveal itself to you and you will know you ARE IT, but it's OK, because, there is nothing to be afraid of, really.

I'm not trying to impose anything on anybody, it's just a sharing of ideas, it's all about finding common ground, a common language. That's why I contacted you I feel attracted to what you have to say. When I read your comment on my blog revulsions mentioning the Machine, I was in a very strange state. Like if I was being reorganized inside me. I was not acquiring new information, but something was "cleaning" the house/brain, letting me know how the pieces fit, and your comment was like pure synchronicity in action because it made perfect sense.

Do you have any blog or site where you write about this stuff?

I am also interested in changing my brain chemistry in the future. I've done it in the past and it has helped me a lot. But I'd really like to push the envelope this time and find my limits.

I hope we can exchange ideas more often.


Kaiserx30 said...

Do you believe that thoughts, emotions, and feelings can be planted into the mind of an individual >?

Chemically; I have mastered (to a degree) those demons that inhabit my mind. Although ever-present; they now work not only against me, but with me.

In a specific type of "schizophrenic" patient(or person that hears voices and/or has delusions) it may be possible to gather extraordinary information as to the manipulation of the mind. It is essential that they first acquire an awareness of these delusions; eventually the ability to let them go.

If they have not suffered significant structural damage and retained a degree of intelligence (IQ 120+), they are of great significance. If they are left on anti-psychotics, the subject may not retain motivation or intelligence level.

You would find that most of those diagnosed - and in this position - will lie in order to avoid the damaging drugs and hospitalization. They will also have the ability to manipulate medicine and GP's (switching GP's / arm twisting) into allowing them to try combination's of pharmaceuticals that work FOR them rather than against them.

(To be continued ...)

Kaiserx30 said...

In my position, negative thoughts (and later "voices") were the most damaging force behind my illness. They instilled incredible anxiety and depression that lead to self destructive behaviour (drug abuse etc). I recall one researcher mentioning that the average person has four negative thoughts for every one single positive thought. As the ratio of negative thoughts began increasing above the norm (moving from 4 to 5,6,7,8) so did the severity of an individuals mental status. Once reaching the point where the ratio of 8 to 1, the patient was usually suffering from psychosis.

Anadæ Quenyan Effro said...

Thank you for this blogticle, Bruno. It's a New Moon & the stars are bright, the night clear, & an excellent time for beginning new things. I found your writing via your comment on Christopher Knowles' current blogticle. Yes, indeed. Fear is the mind-killer. As an artist my(s)elf, I'm only just emerging from a long absence from my work as a Magical Realist. Dream freely, unbind our tethers to the System, & we'll find more & more Magic an active part in our lives & we in its. Have an excellent & wondrous 2011. Namasté.

On a mountain in the Blue Ridge Mountains,
Anadæ Quenyan Effro ~ (•8-D

Bruno Tarrana said...


I believe that thoughts can be implanted yes, and subsequently emotions will be indirectly manipulated. This is happening right now throughout the world. It's called civilization.

The implanted thoughts I believe, are connected to education, childhood experiences, interaction with civilization in general. I tend to think of this "implanted thoughts" or extreme cases like schizophrenia as the result of the lack of unity between the emotional system and the rational system.

I believe that in the emotional system lies the potential for creativity, self-expression, the ability to relate to others and empathy. I also feel that the core of what we are, the Self, or Soul, or root of consciousness, is deeply connected with the emotional system. But because since the beginning of childhood we are indoctrinated in the hypocritical and self-destructive ways of civilization, the emotional system, or, using a more spiritual term, the heart, the soul, is suppressed. In this case the rational system suppresses the emotional system.


Bruno Tarrana said...

So when faced with a choice most of us choose the path of self-betrayal beginning in childhood. Well, we really do not choose, it is imposed on us by parents and society. We do it because we need to feel loved. And they would only love us if we do what we are told. Some people sensing this self-betrayal, and maybe because of traumatic experiences, choose not the path of self-betrayal and take refuge totally in the emotional system, rejecting the rational system. A division occurs inside the mind. But the rational part cannot be "killed", it remains. The schizophrenic will sense his/her mind, or rational abilities, as an outside voice, force, or something negative that seeks our suffering, that seeks to control us. This is the legacy of civilization in ourselves. Mental breakdown, division, doubt, fear.

The other extreme, is the person who totally rejects the inner world, the Heart, and identifies totally with the outside word, control, manipulation, greed, suppression of others, hate etc. This is how we got this male dominated world of ours, which spawned politicians, generals, high priests, CEOs, bankers etc. The moment we divorced ourselves from nature, when we started settling and developing agriculture, this "division" started to happen. Mental breakdown on one side, and on the other side genocide, wars, hunger, suffering, greed, destruction of the planet etc.


Bruno Tarrana said...

The natural state of mind is a result of an integration between the rational and the emotional. This 2 major energies inside ourselves should be united, "married", that's when a person achieves balance in the mind, and inner peace. The rational system is supposed to function as a tool in support of self-expression, creativity, and Love. But in our society the reverse happens. In order to survive in the human jungle, we are encouraged to suppress the emotional system and use only the rational.

In my case, I also had, and still have, a connection with this inner voice of destruction. But I now know who it is, where it comes from, when it manifests, and how to make it silent. I use meditation, self-observation, thinking, looking beyond the first layers of thought. I also took anti-psychotics and anti-depressants in the past but I rejected them and decided not to use them again. I chose to face this voice alone, and it worked. But this voice is really not something that comes from the outside, a machine, demon, alien or something. It's just a combination of memories, habits, doubts, fears. It is myself. It is a residual habit energy that was given to me by my father. He passed on to me this energy, this "demon", this uncontrolled/sick male energy, his view of reality.

I learned a lot from reading a book from Arno Gruen: "The Insanity of Normality". That's where I acquired this idea of the betrayal of the self. I'll mention this more deeply in a future post. I feel it is essential to understand why we as individuals are the way we are, and also why is the world in such a chaos.


Bruno Tarrana said...

Anadæ Quenyan Effro,

Thank you for commenting.
Wish you a creative and magical 2011.

Kaiserx30 said...

Yes, a sharp distinction and knowledge between the rational and irrational is essential. However, one may ask (in certain cases), what is rational and what is irrational ?

In my own experience; the answer becomes progressively unclear.

I can attend classes; learn material, and work progressively towards a career. I can then find a career and go on living in this matrix virtually alone in thought. To pursue an education and career would appear rational. Yet, the irrational component (the disconnect) and internal alienation is something that will remain.

Rather than a having a split mind - it seems more like a split reality.

I do agree Bruno; love is key and personal harmony is something to strive for. A very tough proposition in this world in which we live.

Bruno Tarrana said...

This irrational/disconnection you mention, might be the the lack of unity between these two centers, rational and emotional. In other words it is the contradiction between what is expected of us, what we think we should do, and on the other hand, what we really want, what we feel like doing

A person subjected to the male and rational values of civilization will have difficulty or simply deny that which does not conform to the his/her view or reality. So in this sense one may conclude that someone who tries to follow their intuition, heart, true self, soul, creative consciousness etc, will always seem to behave irrationally to the one imprisoned by society's mind program.

This mechanism also works individually. We all have a mind program, inculcated in our brain, which is the result from years of indoctrination from society, parents, friends etc. Our sense of reality/rational stems from that program. We feel a necessity of comparing everything we perceive, with that program, and allow the program to decide what is real, possible, and acceptable to feel, think, and incorporate in our world view. So it is, in my view, very important to crack that sense of rationality, that program, that was imposed on us, so we can express ourselves freely and fully without any self-judgement, self-condemnation, self-censorship. In other words, we can embrace the irrational. Unlearn what we have learned. And start building a new mind program. One that will allow ourselves to simple be, to enjoy life, to let go of worries, and express ourselves in any way we feel like. There's really no rules or boundaries except those we impose on ourselves.

Kaiserx30 said...

I have not read this entire book; but a portion of it. I found it interesting.

Programming the Human Biocomputer
John C. Lilly, M.D.

I think the full text is available through google books.

Might want to check it out Bruno.

Bruno Tarrana said...

Thank you Kaiserx30, I'll definitely have a look into the book.

su said...

I just happened upon this the day after an epic journey with St Pedro.
There is a lot to discover on here, and what i have seen resonates deeply.
Have just watched the Anton Wilson on reality tunnels.
I too am new to love and understanding.